So here it is. Prepare to be enlightened!
I present to you: My legendary magical oatmeal recipe.
This recipe has saved the world many a time, for had I not had my oatmeal, I would have been snoozing in my armchair instead of battling dragons.
This recipe will have you ready for fighting off evil beings in no time!
What you need:
- Rolled oats
- Water
- Milk
- Salt
How:
Pour the oats into a pot and cover them with water.
Put the pot on a stove and turn on the heat.
Bring out your magic wand and carefully say the word: Alakaz-oatmeal!
(If you do not have access to a magical wand, anything long and pointy – e.g. a spoon – will do.)
This should turn your oats into oatmeal right away.
(If you’re not successful on your first attempt, try again and this time say it like you mean it!)
If it still doesn’t work (maybe your oats are of an especially stubborn sort, or your magical skills simply are just not developed enough), you can try tricking the oats by chanting the magical word in a low, humming note over and over while stirring the pot. This should soften them up! They won’t even notice what’s going on.
By now you should start seeing some serious results!
When the oats become sticky and porridge-y, you can turn down the heat.
Add a splash of milk and a pinch of salt, and voilà! Enjoy a well-deserved bowl of warm oatmeal.
Alterations:
If you have to do something a little more demanding that day like, lets say, fight a dragon, I recommend adding in just a few chopped dates, prunes or raisins. If you want to be really wild, add some chopped almonds too.