I’m noT really sure what on earth this is. I seem to have conJured uP some sort of weird mAchine. It has a lot of buttoNs with letterS on tHem… and something thAt looks like a big luminous square. Isn’t this just typical? I was only trying to enchant my oatmeal this morning and then BAM here this thingy was instead.

Oops! What now? I accidentally pushed a button and now the thing has showed me the way to something called, eh, the w-w-w? That must stand for “World Wise Wizarding”, I’m sure. Oh well, that is what happens when you are as great a wizard as I am. You’re bound to surprise yourself with your immense powers all the time. Maybe this entity lets me communicate with aliens in a different dimension or another age? Hello! Hello! Anybody there??

BOLLOCKS. Now, where did I put my magic wand? I should think of a name, really, of this thing I’ve invented. Easier said than done though. If I don’t come up with anything within the next 140-50 years I’ll just have to call it, well, hmm, “Bollogks”, or maybe just: “Blogk” or something like that…