The neverending story

Letter from a fan:
”Dear Great Wizard.” (That’s me!)
”I think that the category ‘Impressive wizard beards’ is pretty outdated. Dude, nobody wants to hear about wizard beards anymore.” (Huh? Seriously?)
”So could you please come up with another category-thing, something a little more fashionable, and with a funny icon?!
Will you send me a signed poster?
Yours fanfully,
Philip-Margret, 16 years old”

Letter from another fan:
”Great Wizard!
I luve your revjews! Butt why are there never any Scandinawian people in them?
Peter Jorgensen, 42, Jutland”

Well, Philip-Margret and Peter Jorgensen, I’ll see what I can do about that!

Greetings everyone!
Today we’re looking at a… “never ending” story… hmmm. What is this? I haven’t got time for that at all. I’ve definitely got way too many spells and potions to tend to, and scarves I have to knit. Oh! And the text is written in weird colours, and the first letters in the first chapter are reversed?! Was the typographer colourblind and confused? Oh, hehe. Apparently, it’s part of the story. It is right here in the first sentence!
I think I’ll begin reading it, but if it turns out that it really never ends, I’ll go work on my scarf instead.
Spoiler alert!

The neverending story

By Michael Ende

Summary

The land of Fantastica is in grave danger, and the Childlike Empress is sick. A most heroic boy with green skin, Atreyu, is sent to find a cure. (N.B. Atreyu himself is not sick, even though he’s got green skin.) Meanwhile, another boy, Bastian Balthasar Bux, is hiding in an attic with a book he has shoplifted. Bastian is – a bit reluctantly – transported into the story as some sort of a best-we-could-get-hold-of-with-such-short-notice-hero. Apparently, despite him being a bit of a wimp, he is the only one who can save the empress and Fantastica. Suddenly, Bastian becomes the main character of the story he was in the middle of reading. He soon develops a superiority-complex (no wonder, really), and he’s now entirely convinced that everything revolves around him.
Bastian saves the Childlike Empress, and instead of the princess and half the kingdom, he is awarded a pretty necklace and granted a few wishes, which he squanders left and right on superpowers, good looks and so forth… He doesn’t get a singing luckdragon (like Atreyu got), but instead he gets to ride an old, wise mule, who suffers from childlessness – a condition it later goes into treatment for, if I understand correctly.
Now, on top of everything, Bastian develops acute memory loss, and he will need good friends to escape the book and the story.
Confused? Well, go read the book yourself, then. It’s not just a single story, really, but rather a series of fantastical tales taking place in the kingdom of fantasy. And, despite the misleading title, it actually has an ending, and a very happy one at that.
I think that the title simply indicates that every story told leads to series of other stories to begin in the minds of the people reading it, thereby making it endless. As long as there are humans who think and dream, Fantastica lives on.

Review

I am not going to ditch the wizard beards category as I am certain that it continues to hold great interest to many of my readers. But in this review, I will introduce to you two new categories, plus an exclusive bonus category!
I will, as always, judge this book based on a few utmost essential parameters…

This book has a very meaningful message: Don’t be an annoying self-absorbed wimp.
Also, when in trouble, get by with a little help from your friends. And their singing dragon.
Very good.

A white luckdragon who can sing? Maximum points. I’ll have to get myself one of those someday!

I must admit that I can’t personally relate to being a self-absorbed wimp, and I’m sure that you, dear reader, can’t either.
But of course, I’m aware that some people out there in the world could be struggling with this particular issue, so it might be relatable to some.

At no point in this book does a wizard save the day, which – needless to say – is highly unrealistic.

This is a book in dire need of knitting! In a book this endless there really should have been at least a few paragraphs dedicated to this fine craft.

Not a single one I’m afraid. A lot of books sadly seem to be lacking in that department…

Yes, a lot. A green skinned hero, a zebra-centaur, a singing fluffy dragon – the list is never-ending.
This book practically invented diversity.

Tada! Exciting new category!!
But regrettably fashion is not really appreciated in this book.
Though the characters are dressed in diverse, imaginative clothing, and Bastian Balthasar Bux gets a turban and a total make-over when he enters the kingdom of Fantastica, he returns to his old looks in the end, and maybe realises that inner-beauty is what really counts. This is of course quite boring.
Also, not a single proper wizard with a pointy hat, grey beard and star-spangled cloak is present, and that is very lame indeed (go read magical tip #2). Only one man with a long, white beard is mentioned somewhere in the book. Disappointing.

Unfortunately, there are no Danish people in this book. Sorry Peter Jorgensen.

My version of the book happens to be full of exciting colours and nice-looking typography. Maximum points for that and for the big, squiggly beginning-letters and drawings at the start of every chapter. If your copy doesn’t look as magical as mine, I’m very sorry for you.

Conclusion

There is an unfortunate lack of wizards and long beards in this book. But the swarm of fantastical creatures and the white luckdragon skyrockets the points!
Plus, the story did end eventually, and I’m very satisfied with that twist, phew.
After careful calculation I’ve come to a verdict.
5/7 wizard hats: