Step 3: Teach your cat tricks
Now that you’ve successfully earned your cat’s respect and made it love you unconditionally, it’s time to move up to the next level and teach it some tricks!
There are two levels:
1) Level 1: Bribe the cat to make it stop doing annoying things
2) Level 2: Command the cat
Bribe the cat:
If you’re still a bit immature in your new position as total master of cats, you might want to enter into a respectful cooperation with the cat, instead of diving straight into giving it orders and thereby risk losing the esteem you’ve gained so far.
Examples of cooperation could be:
- If you stop throwing up hairballs, I will let you have a taste of my hot chocolate.
- If you promise not to vomit on my pillow, I’ll lend you a corner… or maybe the whole pillow.
- If you move away from the bed, I shall refrain from smacking your furry butt with my stinky slipper.
Command the cat:
If you’re sure of yourself and an experienced master of cats, you can start teaching it cool tricks. For example:
- Fetching the wand.
- Jumping through a magical portal (or a hula hoop if you can’t conjure up a magical portal).
- Ringing a bell for treats (although I don’t recommend this one, as it can be quite annoying if you have a permanently hungry cat).
- Dancing waltz basic steps.
- Assisting in dragon slaying. But be careful, the cat might lose a life.
- Playing the violin or singing a jolly tune – but only if your cat has an ear for music, or it might risk losing another life.
I hope this proves good for your relationship and provides a healthy workout for your cat.
