Step 5: Enough is enough! Show that little tyrant!!!
Dear readers,
I’m sorry to tell you all that I’ve absolutely had it! I woke up this morning only to discover that all my plants had been turned over and that my favourite armchair had once again been used as a scratching post.
I will not tolerate this any longer! That little midget has coughed up its last hairball!
I’ve got some new advice for you!
First of all, kick the cat out.
NB: If you’re intimidated by the cat’s attitude and thinking of giving up, it’s time to take a deep breath and ask yourself an important question: Are you going to be bullied by a self-satisfied furball? No, you’re not! Now apply yourself!
Grab its hairy butt and say bon voyage!
Then, I recommend getting the anger out of your system in a constructive way. Cathartic exercises might include:
- Throwing the cat’s food bowl out the window
- Burning pictures of the two of you together
- Screaming while kicking the cat’s favourite pillow (except if that pillow is yours of course, in that case just scream very loudly).
Whenever you start to feel a bit calmer, you need to get the cat off your mind and start working on yourself. Eat some oatmeal, do a lot of yoga (link). Become the very best version of you and rejoice with the knowledge that the cat will never ever ever for the rest of its sorry life find an owner as amazing as you again EVER!
Cat owners unite and get ready! Together we’ll show those little devils that we don’t need them!
