Boss level: How to knit a super strong dragon chain
Hello, hello and welcome back again to the wizard’s knitting academy!
Today we will take your knitting to new dimensions.
Before you begin you should know that this recipe is not for amateurs. If you have not tried your hand at a scarf or wand-cover yet, do not attempt to follow this recipe.
Today we’re going to be knitting a dragon chain!
And you might ask yourself whether it’s really possible to knit a chain? Whether it might not be better to simply chain the dragon with something made of iron instead of yarn?
That is indeed a silly question. Of course it’s better to knit the chain – if you capture a dragon that needs chaining, iron simply won’t hold it, as the dragon is of course a big, fire-spewing beast that could easily melt an iron chain with a mere sneeze.
By the end, if you follow the recipe correctly, this magical chain will be as thin as your pinkie but stronger than ten chains made of iron!
Materials:
- Double pointed knitting needles in size XXXS.
- The roots of a mountain.
- The sound of a cat’s steps.
- The breath of a fish.
- The beard of a woman.
- The sinews of a bear.
- The spittle of a bird.
(Yes, yes, these things can be very hard to come by, as the dwarves of Nidavellir used up most of it during the forging of Gleipnir – greedy bastards! You know, other people have creatures to chain as well!! If you absolutely cannot come by any of these materials, mane hair from a unicorn and the feathers of a triple-headed eagle will do nicely as well.)
Time to make:
About 100-150 hours, depending on the size of your dragon.
Knitting position:
It is essential that you sit in the lotus position and sing a song while knitting the chain.
For this project you’ll need a powerful song. I recommend this one: Power Knitting Song
Work instructions:
Put all the ingredients into a cauldron and fire up beneath it. Slowly chant: “Zim-zalla-zim-zim-bimmely-bim” while stirring. When it has become a homogeneous mass and starts smoking, remove the cauldron and let it cool.
Once it’s reached room temperature, you (as usual) grab your magical spinning wheel and create a long string of yarn.
When you’ve got a big ball of yarn, you can get into position.
Cast on three stitches. Then, slide the stitches down to the other end of the knitting needle. Knit the three stitches very tightly. Again, you slide the stitches to the other end of the needle.
Continue knitting, sliding and singing for some hundred hours.
When you’ve reached your desired length, bind off, stretch your legs (ahhh) and what do you know, now you’ve got yourself a magical dragon chain!
Now you just need to capture a dragon.
If you reached this point congratulations! You are now a trained knitter, educated from the wizard’s academy of knitting. I’m very proud of you!
