A wizard’s evening routine:
Good evening everyone!
I hope your day thus far has been excellent and full of magic! If not, don’t worry, it’s about to be, because today I’m going to share my night time routine with you.
After a long and perhaps tiresome day of managing all sorts of wicked creatures, it’s vital to take some time in the evening to calm down and tend to your magical self. And this is how I do it.
After I finish my dinner, I make myself a cup of chamomile tea (click here for the recipe) and sit down in my softest armchair with my feet soaked in a bowl of nice, warm water. Utmost important to tend to your feet everybody! How would you feel if you had to carry someone around all day without ever getting any thanks?
While enjoying the tea and foot bath, I’ll often read in one of my many magical books.
When I’ve finished a chapter or two, I dry my feet and walk out to the bathroom to brush my teeth with my trusty enchanted toothbrush. To do so, I simply tell my toothbrush: “Alakazam, make my mouth free of jam!”, and I’ll have shiny teeth in a minute.
If you want to try out this spell at home, remember to add a timer to the end, like: “In two minutes!”.
If you forget that last part, you might suddenly have a toothbrush chasing you around the house. If this happens, don’t panic. The spell should wear off in a couple of hours, so just find yourself a place to hide or something to capture your toothbrush in, a fishing net for example.
N.B. Please refrain from trying to pronounce any spells while your mouth is full of tooth paste, as you might choke doing so.
After I brush my teeth, it’s time for me to do my skincare routine. Very important everyone, we don’t want do look like a raisin when we turn seven hundred someday, do we?
I start off by putting on a headband to keep my – rather long – hair out of my face and put my beard in a ponytail.
Step one: Gua Sha
I like to start off with a nice facial massage. When I’ve applied some oil onto my face, I grab my gua sha and sort of rub it on my face for a few minutes until my face is all red and have a funny tingly feeling.
Step two: Cleansing
To tell you the truth, it’s really not easy soaping your face when you’ve got as big a of a beard as I do. But if you’re in the same boat as me, don’t despair! There’s nothing that a spell can’t fix.
To easily cleanse your face, simply say the magical words: “Abracadabra, give me skin like Cleopatra!”
This should clean up your face in no time. (There is a slight possibility that your face will get soaked in donkey milk. In this case, try again or wash your face manually.)
Step three (optional): Mask
Every other day I like to use a face mask. Right now I’m quite enjoying green clay. It sucks all the dust right out of my wrinkles!
I mix the clay with a bit of water and apply the mixture to my face. I leave it on for 15 minutes, or until my face feel like it’s made out of cracking stone, and then I rinse it off.
Step four: Toner
Actually, I’m not really sure what this thing does, but it smells very nice, like lavender, so it must be really good.
Step five: Moisturizer
The last thing I do is apply my moisturizer.
This will make my face sticky for a while, which can be a bit inconvenient, but alas, beauty is pain I suppose. And well, this does grant me the perfect opportunity to sit in my armchair for the rest of the evening, doing absolutely nothing until it’s time for bed.
I bid you all good night. Sleep tight and dream a little dream of magic.
